so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
