Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
