the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
