Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
