It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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