Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
