physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize