I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
one might say we're banned from that church
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
