we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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