I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
