I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
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