Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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