wrigley field is MILF paradise
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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