i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
