Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm too high and old for this...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
