I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
