THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize