There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
