Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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