she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
