I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
These tits shall not be calmed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
