I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
