My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
