I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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