dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
