I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
