Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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