yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
