I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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