Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
