Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
