if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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