This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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