Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude. I can hear the air.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize