i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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