if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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