come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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