i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
