i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
