I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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