I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
