Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
