You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
