Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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