Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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