is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
