i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
