Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
