Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
