They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
