hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
