Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
