pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
