google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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