I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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