We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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